Pen Pal's Letter and response

For the second year that I have been a pen pal for a 3rd grader at the school near where I live. It is a program through RSVP, and allows, in some instances, a role model and positive influence in the lives of children clearly missing some of that. Last year's pen pal was a boy focused on violence and power, so my focus was to try to urge a bit of caution while not saying "NO!" and to try to model strength that didn't depend on violence, along with an awareness that video games and movies are all make-believe.

This year's pen pal is as bubbly, but not so focused on violence and power. We have a common point in our love of betas (though he just told me it's spelled "b-a-t-a"), and our enjoyment of games. I also learned in his latest letter that his father wants to be a police officer - another point of contact, since my own father was in law enforcement.

I have tried for years to find those places where I can model the behaviors I would like to see in young people around them consistently and in close enough relationship that they can see those behaviors are real. I've coached Little League - and stopped in part because too many coaches and parents see it as simply a kid's big league, Youth soccer for boys and girls teams - with one program I worked hard to develop actually sending a team to the state youth soccer playoffs only a year or two after I moved away. I've worked with youth programs, and taught youth about faith and the benefits of spirituality, and enjoyed the parrying that goes until they determine you're honest with them, when you can get to the real questions.

I would that more adults, secure in themselves to the point of being vulnerable to the youth; serene enough to teach that violence isn't the only answer; and in good enough relationships to show that one doesn't need to dominate a partner in order to have a good relationship and get what one wants. Our world would be immensely improved if our children began to understand mutual respect within relationships; mutual caring with partners, friends and strangers; and to be confident of who they are to admit where they don't know, aren't strong enough, need help. Perhaps we adults will indeed learn that need some day, but I think some more pioneers are going to be needed to break the trail and set the examples. Takers? Peace!!