The Learning Continues

My new adventure into becoming a Walgreen's photo tech continues with lots of learning everyday. Yesterday I opened - that is I got both the film and paper processors turned on, tested and ready to roll. I also put a new roll of the print paper in the paper cannister, being very careful because one of my co-worker's did it last week, and a paper jam ensued. I also was asked to correct a problem with another cannister - that required a little assistance from one of the better trained techs, and even he had some trouble with it.

I have also learned that we are the department within the store that covers more of what needs to be done than any other! Photo also covers the coolers, the food shelves, the vitamin and pharmacy shelves, and the stationary and photo frame/album aisle. When it is time to deal with sale tags for a week or monthly sale - we have more tags to hang.

I learned yesterday that at the beginning of the month we pull expired food items from the shelves - I did that, and was complimented and told I had done too much because Frito-Lay is supposed to do their own.

I'm off n0w until I start to work the end of this week at the new store, helping to set up the store and get it ready to open.

So, what does this have to do with pastoral duties? Well, let me just say that I have done a bit of counseling with a co-worker working off some anger over past experiences that still bother her. I have listened to customers and tried to help them with difficulties, and have worked hard to counter prejudices that have come up in my presence - but gently. And I'm helping people!

What makes this better than being in a church? When I clock out, I'm done! I don't have people second guessing me all the time! No Board claims I just won't listen, while in fact they are not listening to me. I ask when I don't know, learn more about my position and continue to find ways to help! I'm looking forward to the new store and the development of our team.

So, the adventure and the learning continue apace! Peace!

The New Adventure

Well, I've started a new job, and if it works out, my ministry may turn to being there for other pastors. I'm training as a photo tech with the possibility of becoming the team lead at a brand new Walgreen's store in Evergreen, Colorado. I've had a week of training and seem to be coming along nicely. I've made some mistakes, asked some questions more than once, but I am learning what I need to know. The biggest thing over the next week and a half is to get 17 computer modules completed per my new manager's wishes. I've worked the opening shift and the closing shift. I've processed film - it's all automated, taken orders, run the register and helped get the shelves lined with sale tags and kept up their appearance.

The thing I think I like most is the ability to walk away from the job at night and know that I'm not likely to get called for an emergency, not needing to go to a meeting where someone will light in to me for a difference of opinion instead of dealing with the facts. I'm here, I serve our customers and my fellow employees, I do my job, then I get to go home to my wife, and not need to boil over for a hour to become even close to being able to sleep. I can play computer games with my daughter for the sheer enjoyment of the games without NEEDING to bash "booglies" to slow down and get rid of frustrations.

You know, now that I think of it, shouldn't the church also be able to let their pastor go home that way? Why do we seem to feel a need to dump all our frustration and anger on the one person who is supposed to be there to help us? Why do we feel the need to argue with the one who has the training to help guide the changes we might need to make? Where in those beloved scriptures does it say the pastor is the whipping member of the church? I know Jesus spoke of the first being the last, but I'm not sure he was referring to the pastor being the crapper of the church. I truly think the Savior was saying we ALL need to come down off our high horses, get used to the idea that we are CALLED to MINISTRY and SERVICE, roll up our sleeves and ALL strive to do the work of the Christ in our world - not pay someone a salary and require them to forget their own life in order to fulfill the dreams and wants of everyone else.

Some of my anger has come to the fore, but that's alright because Jesus wasn't slow to tell the disciples or the listening crowds where they were failing and how to get it right - though I'm not sure he had much more success than pastors do in that regard. Perhaps the time has come for pastors to reassert the prophetic role once again, and call a few spades by their rightfully earned names. May the quite humble folk of the church need to find their voices and tell some of those big-money-loudmouths to sit down and shut up, or take their money and find another place to bully folk into being an extension of their desire to be pampered - because there is ministry to be done here, and only action people are desired. Wow! That's quite a dream, but it just might be the dream necessary for Christianity to reassert its rightful place in the world, to make the whole voice of Christianity heard instead of one hate-filled strand.

Anyway, the new job is pretty nice for a change, and I've given you a bit to chew on!

Peace!

Here's to Irena!

My brother sent me a You.tube portion of the Glen Beck show telling the story of Irena Sendler, a Polish woman who worked for the Welfare Department in Poland as Hitler began his final solution. She was in charge of controlling TB, and used her restriction-less freedom to smuggle over 2500 Jewish children out of the ghetto in Poland - carrying them in toolboxes, caskets, gunny sacks and in ambulances accompanied by her trusted friend and cohort - a dog that would bark incessantly while she was questioned, so the Gestapo officers wouldn't hear the crying children.

When she was caught, she was tortured and beaten mercilessly, but escaped execution by bribing a guard and living in secret until the war was over. Not wanting the children to lose their true identities, she had written their names down, buried them in a jar by an apple tree in her backyard. After the war's conclusion, she retrieved the list and began helping the children rediscover their true identity and place many of those whose parents had died during the war and the Final solution with family members.

Glen Beck mentions that he heard of her because she was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. My gut reaction is to state without fear of error that there are literally hundreds who have similar stories of heroism and simple true compassion for persons caught in the hate-filled hands of dictators and tyrants. Glen Beck had to end her wonderful story taking a shot at a political figure. That's too bad, because it cheapened his sharing of her wonderful story, and it demeaned the announcer himself.

God's speed on your new venture in God's new realms, Irena, and thanks for the ideal to live up to!

Peace!

Huzzah!

The drought is over! I applied to Walgreen's on-line, because they have a new store opening in Evergreen, where my beloved is working. Two days after I completed what you can do from home I received a call from the manager of the new store. He could offer the position for which I had applied, but like the application enough to want to interview me. By the time that was done, he was saying he would like me to work in another department that would give me nearly a dollar an hour more in pay, and train me to help set up the store, possible to become the team lead - more pay and a first step on the way to management.

I won't be making what I did, nor as much as my beloved has been told she will make when her training is over, but it is income and there is the possibility of more, and of advancement. Sounds like a pretty good start to me! If it goes as well as we hope, and nothing truly exciting appears on the pastoral search front, it may be time for a mid-life career change, away from the frustrations of churches that don't want to be part of the future except for the people and money, away from the people who cannot exert control in their own lives so they do it by making the church a miserable place to be, away from people expecting you to be there 24-7-365. I have to admit that right now a steady job I can leave behind at the end of the shift sounds very nice, and I'm sure I can find a pastor in a local church that would be glad to have a listening ear with a little experiential commonality to support with my companionship and support.

I am thankful to my family for their confidence that this would come about, though I confess I was starting to doubt it as applications were filed and nothing resulted. This feels wonderful!!

Peace!

A Sign of the Times?

There has been a lot of talk about personal responsibility for the last 8 years - and now we have a sign of it's outcome - a higher teen birth rate than last 15 years! Why does this bother me? Teens are prepared to be parents - heck, few us adults are truly prepared! Furthermore, in our society it is the young woman who pays for her birthing a child, and the baby's father walks free in most cases, only laughing with "adult" males about sowing his wild oats!

It has been about that same 8 years that the emphasis has been on abstinence only, forgetting that only the studies done by ab-only groups show any success at all. During that time, I and others have fought for a comprehensive approach to teens and sexuality - including education, contraception and urging our youth to wait - to no avail with the current administration and their religiously right-wing allies who have pushed more and more for ab-only programs as the only approach to take - stating that education actually encourages sexual activity though studies show otherwise, stating that contraception increases a desire to become active - ignoring the thousands of young girls in our country raped by male members of their households or families that have no choice in the matter, and creating the "re-virgining" myth that if a sexually active girl is inactive for so long, she becomes a virgin all over.

It's so twisted, is it any wonder the kids do or say what is expected in both the church or group pushing ab-only and in the back seat of a car or a bedroom of a home without active concerned parents? I've even known parents who said, "The kid's going to do it anyway, so I just have them do it here so I know what's going on." Now there's a healthy attitude! NOT!!!

Come on, people, it's time we place more trust in our children and teach them what they need to know to face an ever-more complex world. After all, if we let them do it all by trial and error, will we have any room to complain when they pack us off into homes that allow them to shirk responsibility just as we have? Think about it, then go talk honestly and bluntly with your children about the whole gamut of sexual information - or find someone who will do it because you are too embarrassed to talk to your beloved child. Parents, grow up, and act your role!

Peace!

Along the way

Along life's paths we get surprises that are important to help us keep our positive perspective - such as total strangers offering help, friendship, concern - if only we are willing to see them and acknowledge them. Moving into this apartment complex has shown plenty of people more than willing to help - even more than in the heartland area of central Iowa where we used to live.

It causes me to pause and reflect on the manner that we delude ourselves into thinking we live in a cold, distant, compartmentalized world where it is possible to become a hermit within a city. I know that this is possible, but I also know that the world isn't quite as insular as we might like to believe. I've had conversation with persons from East and West Germany, with Hispanics, Blacks, Asians and Northern Europeans. All were delighted to compare thoughts, to enjoy simple human companionship, and to simply be together. I've listened to those in my youth (and later) who said "those" people moving in would destroy the neighborhood, and more than once have actually seen "those" people actually enhance the neighborhood by keeping up their property, living quietly friendly lives and working to pay their way - while some of the complainers had trashy property, noisy obnoxious home lives, and were constantly looking for someone to bail them out of their self-induced problems.

I've had strangers along highways stop to help with automobile troubles, and offered help. I've had hotel and motel staff go out of their way to help with problems - even more so than would normally be associated with keeping a good image. I've witnessed waitresses, chefs and managers of restaurants go far out of their way to accommodate my wife's food allergies.

See? The world still has a preponderance of good people, we've just become used to noticing the nasty and difficult ones. Open your eyes, and you might get the surprise of your life - you might be one of the nasty, difficult people you complain about so much!

Think about it and try it! Practice random acts of kindness and see how the world can change - one person at a time. The commercial is right, a smile is contagious and very effective at change!

Peace!

Moving In

I was fortunate enough to have another of those experiences that counters the usual perception of today's youth and young adults being all about themselves. We arrived from Iowa on Wednesday, and Thursday night our daughter and three friends from work arrived - and 7 hours later two trucks were unpacked and furniture was in the apartment along with most of the kitchen stuff. We have been back each day since (spending the nights at our daughter's) to unpack and get a little closer to actually moving in - which happens today.

We are looking forward to getting more of our things in and settling. This week will also see the beginnings of the search for employment. This is a worry, though we do try to remember what we share about our faith - that God will meet our needs. I'll be making a trip by the office of the Rocky Mountain Conference of the United Church of Christ to see about preaching or interim opportunities that can put a little spending money in our account.

I've gotten a new Hewlett Packard Notebook to replace my old Dell that died just before the move. Now the problem is trying to download the game my daughter and I enjoy playing together as a de-stressing exercise at the end of a day. I tried last night, and it popped up a message that it was having trouble saving, but if appeared to continue to download - but this morning - only an empty folder for it. We'll have to try it again.

Well, off to see what mischief I can get into!

Peace!

A Final Post

This will be my last post from Webster City, IA. I was delighted to come here, as there seemed so much promise in the situation here - excited people, a stated desire for change. I know I haven't fulfilled their desires, and I know they haven't been particularly open to my leadership. So, now we both simply declare that our time together is done. God will be the one to determine where we go from this point.

Friday night I begin what will be a packed weekend - no pun intended. I'll do the rehearsal for Saturday's wedding for a former Christian Education Director who was here during my time as pastor. Sunday will be the final service here, and it will include the baptism of a baby born to a couple whose marriage I performed. Saturday is also picking up and loading the truck. I don't know if we will be some place with internet possibilities again until we get where we are going and make arrangement for the service.

So, while you work your way through Thursday, my lovely bride and I will be tidying up in preparation for the loading of the truck. To my friends, I wish you all the best God can offer. To my detractors, I wish you all the best God can offer, and a prayer for God to create a new and positive, open and sharing spirit within each of you - for your sake and the church's.

God's peace be with us all!

Fear Factor

Ok, so I got a call last week that my name was being put in for a position that would have provided immediate employment, though short-term, and relieved a lot of the stress right now - I was to hear last night. Not so much! So the fear over what is happening rachets up another notch, and the unknown looms larger than before. I'm making an effort to find out what happened for sure. Perhaps someone just doesn't understand "time is of the essence" when applied to such a situation and my fears are groundless.

My lovely bride of 35 years had me read a friend's "911 Psalm" last night - which is an adaptation of Psalm 91 - Read it replacing "You" with me or us or appropriate pronouns and listen to the lesson of assurance. It was a powerful passage to read in this manner.

This is one of those times I try to remind myself of what I tell people about difficult situations - remember the poem "Footprints in the Sand," where when questioned about the single set of prints why God had left the struggling child alone, God replies, "But my child, those weren't times I left you alone, they were the times I carried you." But, as I well know, saying and doing are very different matters! I will try to look to my Master-example and rely on God's grace, but I know, I KNOW that matters of paying bills, having shelter and putting food on the table are going to weigh heavy on my mind until this is settled.

I keep trying to reassure my bride, but there is only so much reassurance that I can offer before I too am bereft of assurance to offer. Were I alone, I'd be lost, despondent and getting by on what I could - but I'm not, thank God!! This lovely, loving woman has made me what I am today - teaching me confidence, an ability to show my emotions, and that here with her is where I find my safe place, my resting place - my anger bleeds off in her presence, my hurt dissipates within her arms, my uncertainty seems to find resolution in our conversation!

And me? I'll continue to make my way through life, trying to ease the things that I can for my wife and others. I'll do my best to trust God's grace and walk humbly with my God. I pray that somehow I've been enough of a role model that others through my life and living have learned some of the same.

Peace!

Sad Commentary

I was taken to lunch yesterday by a colleague and friend, to say good bye after a too short friendship. We have kidded back and forth over my love of dark roast coffee for all the time we have counted each other friends, in what some would find abusive language, but it's always followed by a grin and probably a laugh.

So yesterday we are sitting in the restaurant, and my friend comments that our denomination, the United Church of Christ, will probably be destroyed because people have forgotten that we, like our United States of America, was founded on the proposition that in diversity we can find unity - in fact in that diversity is our strength.

Now, I don't know if he's reading the situation correctly or not as to the end result, but I can tell you he is dead on when it comes to the most difficult aspect of churches today! We do NOT want different or changed or new! We want comfortable, familiar, feel-good theology and hymns and liturgy. The fact that Jesus spent his entire career upsetting that apple cart in his time has no impact on the way people live today!

Another comment related to that was a question, "How many of your young people rush right out after church and put on church organ music to listen to?" And we wonder why they don't like church any more? Or how about the comment I heard a pastor shared with a parishoner complaining about change - "Oh, so you still go down to the river to do laundry? Still fire up the wood stove to cook on? Still drive around in a horse-drawn buggy?"

It's truly sad that the church has forgotten that Jesus said he came to bring life and abundantly! Life is change! Life is upsetting! Life is running into things we disagree with in people we like or need to get along with - and we do! So why can't we do it in church?

We complain about the medical community resorting to specialists on everything, but that is exactly what the church is trying to do - the pastor is the specialist regarding "church work" and that lets all the rest off the hook. The church staff are the specialists that allow the members to coast! WRONG!!!!

When that attitude becomes the life-view of a congregation, it will change or they will die! It is that simple, that stark, that harsh! A church needs to be like a lake - with fresh water coming in and old water flowing out - or like a pond with no such ingress and egress, it will become stagnant, nasty, unpleasant to be around, and eventually simply a stinking hole that is avoided.

That can also be said of the once great nation. All of it. We have the potential to be the greatest nation history has ever known, the shining example for all the world. But when we try to force people through a cookie cutter mold, try to make everyone exactly alike, refuse to live up to our grand heritage - "Give me your tired and huddled masses . . . " - we start to die like that pond, and, as we have seen, our image worldwide suffers!

'Tis time, my friends and my detractors, for us to start paying attention to life, to our faith, to the reality of need to change in order to live. Live? Die? That's each person's choice! What's yours?

Peace!

Another Step on the Journey

Another step on the journey of getting out of here was taken today when I finalized arrangements on the church's computer. All my personal files are off, and it will remain at the church from here on. I still have a committal, a wedding and a baptism to go. I will admit that I'm delighted to go out a high note with a wedding the day before my last Sunday and a baptism in my very last service at the church. It is still unclear what will happen regarding a farewell service.

The hardest part of this next three weeks will be dealing with the heart-broken folk coming to ask what they can do, how did this happen, who's behind this - all those difficult topics that there are no clear answers to. I listen, I offer the answers that I can, and I sit back to allow them to vent and find direction through their concerns for our friendship and the future of the church. For all in similar situations, church members that is, I would simply say that you must make yourselves aware of what happens in the church, make every effort to make your community of faith into a place where God and God's will are the paramount focus and all other considerations are only side issues to be discussed and agreed upon to be disagreed upon. Churches will be controlled by those who are willing to put forth the effort. Christians need to be willing to face the future knowing that God's message and service are true focus rather than budget and membership numbers.

Our big focus now is simply to be packed ahead of time. We have the kitchen about ready for the counter repair, and other rooms are nearing completion. AND we are LOOKING FORWARD to our weekend with family in Minnesota. So, back to the packing!

Peace!

Nearing the end

We have been diligent at packing, and are far ahead of the usual packing schedule, though not done. As we move closer to the end of our time here, it becomes harder to want to do the last of the packing, the last of the cutting loose ties that have formed, the last --

It's amazing to me that as much as we look forward to getting out of difficult situations, we still find it hard to cut all the ties. Some of those we leave are jumping for joy, others are saying "Oh, well, it happens" and going on, a few are truly expressing distress over what is happening. And they are the ones that make it most difficult to let go and go on.

Over the years, there have been many who affected us so, and they aren't forgotten, from the couple in our first church who gave our daughter her orange stool, to the couple who gave us so many worked rock book ends, to the woman in our second church who stood up for us when the church decided we were to leave two weeks before school was out, to the woman who refused to allow me to go into the water-filling basement to retrieve items for the men of the church preparing to move our things into storage, to the couple that stepped in with a loaner car when our own car froze the engine, to the folk of our third church that showed me how gracious a church can be through their care of our family through the death of my father and my wife's traumatic surgery on a cyst in her neck, to the folk in our fourth church that shared staunch support in the face of emotional reactionary stances and shared their humor with us, to the folk in the fifth church that repeatedly showed their love through caring extended to our daughter through her lupus treatment and research and their constant and abiding presence in our need, to the folk I've mentioned here.

That's what makes the leaving difficult even in the face of difficult standards, resistance to the change that is part of life itself, and uncertain future. I'm I wanting to stay here? No! But will there be pain at the departure? Yes!

Life is difficult. We go on!

Peace!

Part of History

Well, I proudly claim my part in a historic first! I've supported Senator Barak Obama since early in his candidacy. That support came because I liked his hope message, his note that we needed a change in Washington, not just in the White House. I have been very impressed by the positive tone of his campaign. Yes, there were moments of frustrated sniping, but who wouldn't when both the opposition and the main same-party candidate both attacked lack of experience. Exactly how prepared was the current occupant of the Oval Office? What fantastic credentials or enormously successful bi-partisan effort has that candidate produced?

We do need a change, and I think Barak Obama offers the best hope this nation has for the future - a future where we can start putting down some of the ideological cudgels and start rolling our sleeves up to work together for the betterment of our nation, and a return to our role as ethical and moral lights in the world.

We lost a lot of that over the last eight years, and now it's time to start building it back. I know Republicans I'm proud to name friends. Heck, I even worship with some of them! But until we all start to find that commonality of being citizens first, and political party members second; until we learn to put down our religious cudgels of conservatism and liberalism, straight and gay, male and female, and truly hear Paul's message that there are no distinctions now in Christ we will never accomplish what we can.

In the same vein, until our children and youth are heard, truly valued for their contributions and thoughts and made part of the planning for the future of the church, we will continue to dwindle in Mainline churches, and churches willing to make entertainment part of their appeal will continue to flourish - and Jesus will simply become another rules-carrying judge for humanity. The Body of Christ in America has to learn that Jesus repeatedly took Jewish Torah law and set it aside for the simple law of loving God completely and neighbor as self, that the old traditional judgments still bandied about by some religious expressions as the true measure of one's faith aren't any more valid today than when the Christ set them aside as human efforts to usurp God's mercy, compassion, forgiveness and love.

Barak Obama in the political sphere. Jesus, and only Jesus in my religious sphere, and God above all, in all, and loving all. Plain, simple, and oh, so difficult to grasp, isn't it.

Peace and squirmings!

Sad Freedom

There is a sadness even in gaining freedom from what seems an oppressive situation. Five years of work, and little to see for it. Oh, I know I've touched lives, helped people, created some new understanding. It's just that pastors as well as churches like to see growth, we often just have different views of how to accomplish said growth. And different understandings of how church ought to function. And I've been reminded because we've had situations that have come up over the five years repeatedly with the church parlimentarian saying this is how it needs to work based on the Constiitution, and people promptly announcing that ain't the way it's supposed to work. So, why would I feel bad about walking away from that?

Well, there have been friendships developed that will now be truncated. There have been dreams of staying until we retired that are dashed. There are hopes for what could be accomplished that are gone. There have been dreams of deeper involvment in the Conference that now will not occur - unless something miraculously changes in the next few weeks. Reason for sadness!

There is also the freedom that I won't need to go to meetings where people may listen, but in most cases won't care what I say about directions. I won't have to put up with surliness and suspicion and tw0-facedness. I'm hoping that this will shock the church enough that they will truly take the time to figure out who they are and what they want from a pastor. I'm hoping the tension that exists between the lifers and the newbies will be dealt with in a manner that will bring new strength, pride in heritage and a commitment to be the socially connected and active that has been the signature of this congregation through their long and storied history.

But my part is done. Farewell!

Next, a NEW CHAPTER!

Peace!

The End

Today I signed the letter detailing the terms of the severance package. Five years of ministry will come to an end just two weeks beyond that fifth anniversary. The issues are complex and deal with both myself and the church. There are people delighted that I'm not a piece of history for this community. There are others who will be devastated by this move. So how is this something that pertinent for the blog?

Well, here goes! Those delighted will point to my lack of cooperation with their desired direction, they will say I didn't listen to them. Those devastated will say but we didn't find any reason for this! We like his sermons, we appreciated his teaching and visits and counseling. The truth? It lies somewhere in the middle. I know I didn't fulfill all the desires of the congregation. I tried to move in direction of helping them see some new directions for ministry, and to understand that all the church growth studies I have heard or read say that long term sustained growth comes through the congregation instead of from the pastor. I tried to lead them into the direction of new forms of worship, new understandings of how the church reaches out to younger people.

I have listened to those who wanted me to function as a 1950's pastor in the twenty-first century when people are dual career families scheduled to the brow-line with sports, dance, school and family activities. I have tried to help them see that with that kind of scheduling, it's impossible to function as a 1950's pastor. I have not been successful, not to the smallest degree.

So what do I want now? Only a couple of things, that we can find a place to live, jobs, and healing. That the church will in fact figure out who they are, what they want, and if they want to survive - which will include a level of commitment that hasn't been evidence so far in my tenure.

God be with us all! Please, God!!

Peace!

Freight Train, Freight Train

A week ago, the member of the Church's Staff Parish Board told me, when I purposed an end date for a troubled relationship with the congregation, that the Board didn't want to simply push me out of the parish, and I should continue to serve and search. Yesterday, that same person returned to inform me that the pressure was ratcheted up, and I'm to be gone by the end of June. As is my modus operendi, I stayed calm and reasoned on the exterior, while trembling with fear and anger inside. That representative is attempting to set up a meeting tomorrow night to talk over and finalize arrangements for our departure faster than contractually required.

Fortunately, the landlady called yesterday and we told her; she took it far better than we had expected, stating that we had been good renters, and suggesting she won't hold us to the two month written notice because it is easier to find renters in summer than in winter. We still have a repair we will get done next week, and will have the carpet cleaned before we leave, even though it probably should be ripped up and replaced before the place is rented again.

Churches have long be known for their two faces, one compassionate and long-suffering, the other more flinty and abrupt. We knew this was coming, and have been trying to work around it, both with proposals for new ministry opportunities here, and in seeking a new location in which to do ministry. The former has met with stiff resistance at nearly every turn here, and the latter has simply not resulted in anything we felt confident about trying.

So now we attempt to exercise that trust that God is in control, our needs will be met, and there is something better yet to come. It is hard, there is no denying that; but can it be as hard of Jesus knowing his most trusted friends were involved in betraying, abandoning, denying and hiding from his trial? My life will go on, I will provide for my wife, in one way or another, and the sun will still come up tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll try to find a way to make lemonade out of this basket of lemons I've just been handed.

Peace!

Knowing when it is time

Yesterday I went to the funeral of a woman who had spent her whole life serving others, who had found her life's love 14 years ago, and who knew when it was time. She suffered from diabetes, had the toes of her left foot removed, then part of the foot, then part of the leg. When her kidneys went into renal failure, she simply said enough. Her loving husband took her home, and their loving church supported them, giving him time to be with her as she died, and supporting in other needful ways as well. That is a wonderful picture of the way church should work for all - one big, loving family, ready and willing to learn with each other, support each other, and offer both shared laughter, and shared tears.

The story of Jesus and the woman suffering from 12 years of internal hemmoraging was the text for the message, and as the preacher noted, it really seemed to discribe this amazing woman. She finally had had enough poking, prodding and trying one more thing, and as the preacher said, she reached out to touch the fringe of Jesus' robe. Through that difficult-to-understand, difficult-to-accept transition called death, her Savior made her well, made her whole. One of her classmates in a program to prepare lay members of our churches to assist in ministry and deepen their own faith, spoke of the same passage as the one this lady chose to preach from in the preaching class - where her transformation in the power of God became most evident - where she "blew us away with the Spirit-power of her preaching," putting all her own feeling of frustration with medicine into illustrating reaching out full of longing and hope to touch the fringes of the robe of this great healer, said to give hearing to the deaf, sight to the blind, mobility to those unable to move and life to the dead.

Again, what wonderful imagery of what our Christian life is to be about. Those are NOT simply stories, they are the stories of our lives as we struggle with things that don't make sense, disease that just cannot be healed, anger, hatred and life-crippling despair that controls a life that wants more. These are the stories to help us discover that Jesus is still here, though perhaps in the guise of a 55 year old woman who died from complications brought on by diabetes, or a soldier in the middle of a war-ravaged land who decides that little child with such a serious health problem deserves better, and uses all his or her pull and connections to get mother and child or perhaps family to a place where care can be given to at least this one small, desperate child of God.

May the joy this woman knew in her faith, the courage she showed in her determination of the end, and the serenity of her trust in her Savior become a real and lasting part of all our lives.

Peace!

A telling comment

I'm told my father-in-law once made a very telling, damning remark to one of those trying to keep a local church mired in a dead past. That comment was, "God calls you to be pillars of the church, not pillows of the church!"

Too many today want the church to be a warm fuzzy in life, no challenge, no responsibility, no accountability, just one nice easy ride. I make my public pronouncement, drop my check in the plate and show up occasionally. That's all I need to do, and God is obligated to let me into the new realm for my generous support of the church. Some believe that joining civic clubs counts for church work - I give my dues and extra money to help "the poor," participate in community minded events and that's all I'm required to do. Jesus will let me in. Some seem to think that running a corporation for a strong bottom line is what we need to do in order to be faithful.

Well, let's look to the roots of our faith - Jesus wouldn't allow the disciples to seek a warm fuzzy, he constantly challenged them to push their limits, to move outside their comfort zones and confront the wrongs of society. Jesus required more than attendance, more than a financial contribution, more than lip service. He required faithful living of the new covenant he was mediating. That new covenant required offering the same response to the marginalized that Jesus gave; it required the willingness to give away what would make me comfortable to help another live; it required the wilingness to expend my very life in order to help another find the God of love and grace Jesus preached. Salvation and grace are a FREE GIFT of God, not an obligation we lay on God by our marvelous good works - that was the route the Pharisees attempted to teach. Jesus didn't allow people to join groups where a morning or an afternoon of gardening made one feel the spiritual requirement was met; he required his followers to get into the gutter, to take the shirt off their backs, to take the food from their knapsacks and give it away to overwhelming numbers.

We also need to remember Jesus allowed the purse of the group to be held by an alleged embezzler, and extravagantly used the resources others gave to meet far greater needs than any believed possible. His belief was that God called him and us to do extravagant things, and would bless our efforts.

I know of a church of marginalized persons who formed with a promise to the United Church of Christ, that if allowed to pursue membership, they would tithe (10%) their income to the Association and Conference. They did so well, they were able to actually do that and more. They were so filled with the grace we want to claim that when the vote was taken on their potential membership, THEY asked for secret ballots so all could vote their conscience. And even though some unscrupulous clergy attempted to stack the deck, this fine congregation - and yes, I know of what I speak, for I followed their growth and attended their worship to find them among the most welcoming and loving congregations I've ever been around - was in fact voted in by a wide margin of first time attending lay people. In other words, the grace they acted with won the day in the face of liars, fear mongers and bigots.

An important point that cannot be stressed enough is that grace is the FREE gift of God! We can never, NEVER place God in our debt. A corporate understanding of the church kills the spirit, destroys the ability to engage each member in the special ministry to which the Spirit calls them, and leaves all stifled, unable to see the wonderful grace and new life God wants to share.

My constant hope, even in the face of those who cannot see the writing on the wall, is that the church catholic will finally come to understand that we are about ministry and mission, not a fine fat bottom line or staff that obediently walk the paths of comfort and warm fuzzy for us.

Peace - but not TOO much!!

Booglie-bashing

After a counselor treating me for clergy-burnout suggested I hoe the garden or pound nails while thinking of my most frustrating antagonist, I modified that when video games and computer games came along. I can deal with those people who drive me around the bend, because, usually, after an episode, I go home and engage in on-line gaming or fire up the PS2 and engage in some synthetic bashing. It hasn't turned me into a raving maniac, but it does allow frustration to be vented in a socially acceptable manner.

When I have meetings that are enough to have me gnashing my teeth, pulling my hair and talking in rumbling mutters, I look to the games to relieve some of that stress, vent some of the annoyance, and allow me to cool down enough to even think straight.

Sometimes I don't have that outlet, and those are the times I notice that the burn lasts longest. Lesson to be learned - find an outlet for that stress, whether it is gaming, building, hoeing in the garden, or pounding the tar out of a loaf of bread dough - so your true self can come through and really seek an answer, or see that this is one of those you simply have to listen to with half an ear and forget!

Peace!

Ooffda

My wife and I were comparing notes after an email post she read, and for the first time since about 1977, I haven't been into work all week. Fortunately my employment is such that if I miss a week, it doesn't destroy business. I think when I step into the pulpit tomorrow, there will be people who will ask why I'm back? I've been on antibiotics since Monday, slurping down codeine cough syrup and popping extra Vitamin C. For part of the week I've added Tessalon pearls. I've drunk fluids like they were going out of style. And I've found concentrating on anything to be almost more than I could do.

But now I've got to get back into it! Why? Am I being pressured by others to do this? No, I need to get back into it because enough is enough! I've just been given reason to start looking at post-retirement options to fill time. I've started trying to write a couple of times, so I'll be more intentional on that. I've enjoyed bird-watching for a while, so I'll try to be more intentional about that as well. I've done handicrafts in the past, and may pick that up. I'll also look at some volunteering, maybe getting back into youth soccer coaching, or baseball, or something. I've even considered taking training for intentional interim work - training to become a pastor who goes into a church between settled pastors with training to help them deal with issues that will impair their future ministry under a new settled pastor.

Little did I know that so near the completion of the Retirement Seminar, I'd be forced to consider some of what we talked about that day in a forced scenario. But it has been good for me. I know realize with a vengeance what others know - retirement can't be sitting back and doing nothing or one heads for an early grave!

So, with plans and hopes to help us get along with life after we severe that "pre-retirement" work situation, let's move through the future with an eye to what will happen when -

Peace!

Ah Spring Part II

Well, here we are still recovering from bronchitis, taking medicine, drinking prodigious amounts of fluid and getting plenty of exercise just dealing with that. I don't get terribly sick often, but when I finally do, it tends to be a whopper of a occasion. I've had tonsilitis about 4 times, and was promised after number 3 that the tonsil would come out if I got sick again - but we changed health plans and the new doctors smiled patiently at me and announced, "We don't take tonsils out any more." I have had pneumonia, bronchitis and some bodily breakdowns -like the shoulder that needed rotator cuff repair or the nose job to let me breathe.

And the season I tend to get sick? You guessed it, spring! The weather starts playing roller coaster, and I'm usually out in it doing my work - hot, cold, wet, cold, hot, wet, cold - you get the picture. So once again, this spring I'm dealing with a doozie of a case of bronchitis. I did manage to handle the church service with help last Sunday. But I haven't been in church sense! I'm home taking pills, drinking a fortified cough syrup that reminds me of the Cheracol I took as a child, and running Puffs Plus into the waste can at an alarming rate. Oh, and hacking away.

I'm looking forward to getting back at things, especially since there is work some would probably prefer I not do right now, that needs to be done in order to stay ahead of the curve, as it were.

What has that to do with trying to stay positive this year, you ask? Only that some times our bodies are God's messengers of our need to slow down, take it easy, allow ourselves to breathe and recouperate. They bring this to our attention by simply stopping us for a time. It is important, I believe, for us to reassert the connection between body, mind and spirit - one that demands down time to reflect, rest, play, and pray. God created, according to our scriptures, humans to be co-workers in the care of creation, and GOD RESTED! So what makes us think we can go non-stop non-stop? We need that time, it is part of being human!

So, I will try once again to learn from my body's reminder - take some time for rest and REJUVENATION - renewal, restoration. We need to fuel the fires of our lives with fresh input, be it through intimacy with our chosen partners, new knowledge gained, new friends made, or play time with our children. We need to enjoy life with the abandon of young children, not yet burdened with society's hurry-hurry-push-push attitude. We recently got a picture of our grandson in his new toy, guffawing at the pleasure he was having. As my beloved said, "You have to smile when you see this picture!!" Indeed, as the Creator reminds us in those wee windows called babies and children.

Rest, my friends, you'll enjoy it! Relax, life will go on with or without you! Rejuvenate for yourself and your loved ones! Stop trying to be God and enjoy being a beloved creation that is offered the chance to become more than a creation - a child! Laugh with utter abandonment - it's good for body and soul!!

Peace!

Ah Spring

Spring! That wonderful time - of sinus headaches, stuffy noses, and, for me, an allergy related killer cough! I've been coughing for a while now, as the weather warmed up, but over that last couple of days, it's been eating its spinach, and I'm sinking fast!

This happens to varying degrees each spring, and this seems to be a bad year! Trust me, you don't want this stuff - feeling like the top of your head is coming off, like your eyes are going to pop out, like you are about the cough your throat and lungs onto the table before you, and not sleeping worth a drat-it-all!

I'll pick up something that hopefully will tone down the cough so I can sleep, then settle in to wait it out, as that seems to be the only course. May your spring be more gentle and wonderful!

Peace! Ach-ooo!

Spring Weather

Spring weather is always a mix, one day warm and sunny, the next dark, stormy and chilly. That's sort of the way life goes as well, in the midst of the difficult times we see brightness and warmth, caring and concern, but suddenly that can reverse and we can be looking at another storm on the horizon. So how do we deal with the roller coaster? For some it's turning to a bottle or pills or some other addiction. For others it's family or lover or social groups. For still others of us, we turn to our faith.

We may not understand why things are happening as they are, why someone we trusted turned a corner and wasn't trustworthy, why our efforts done seem to lead to the successes we hoped for, but we do believe that God's power is at work, that things will work out, and we've learned to count the blessings of family and friends that are there no matter the situation. Some of those friends we see face to face regularly, but some are from the internet communities we have helped to create and sustain. People who are friends because we share some common struggles, have offered some helpful advice, worked through some difficulties together.

Now I know there is a big debate in some circles about being able to call a group on the internet a community, but think of the function of community and I think you will agree that one need not be face to face daily with someone to be a community. I think you will agree that community is a group that is "there for you" in a time of need, and indeed the groups I speak of on the internet are "there for you" in your time of need - to support, uplift, guide, slap you in the face to wake you up, cajole you into doing what you know you should and childishly resist. Sometimes we need the help, and at other times we are the ones giving the help. Sometimes we share our story and several more join the community because we have touched something deep and important to them - perhaps lanced a festering wound in their lives that now can at least begin to heal.

Spring weather, good and bad, sunny and dark, calm and windy, delightful and stormy - welcome to the wonderful descriptor of life in general! Enjoy it all from the warm sunshine to the booming claps of thunder, for they are a display of life right before your eyes in special effects Hollywood will never truly match!

Peace!

I have a headache

On Thursday, this near 60 year old went to a pre-retirement seminar. One of the first questions was, "Can you afford to retire?" Looking at things from a very cursory point of view, the answer was clear - NO! But then some other answers started to come along. Maybe, maybe. Some of the things shared were surprising, some very new, some not so, and some troubling.

Some options were opened up as well, and I think we will be tightening the financial belt a bit more, trying to start a small regular amount into another account the church makes available to me, and a matching amount into a IRA my wife has. That is in addition to the payments may by the local congregation to my retirement account, and a small automatically deducted savings monthly. That will be slow addition, but it will help, and we will look for other things, like refunds, rebates, similar financially unexpected bits and pieces headed into savings somewhere for that fateful day.

Many questions from the group indicated that our concerns as we approach retirement have some similarities, but also have some widely divurgent strains as well. Should we retire and take on something like Peace Corps, Habitat for Humanity, Heifer Project International? What about retiring and taking a short-term appointment to an overseas church (usually 4-5 years)? Maybe retiring from the church and going to work for some place that like older workers? Maybe another career?

Well, I started getting serious about another career possibility yesterday as we had breakfast, preparing to leave the city where our son and his wife and our grandson live - I drafted the basic line of a written story. I've fancied myself a writer for some time, even tried my hand at some things that all remained locally used items and had some compliments on what I've done. My genres would vary - some fiction, some resources for small churches and pastors. How much might be published is a good question. If some did, and some steady monies became part of the equation, that would be good!

It dawned on me, this last weekend -- Retirement is something we ought to start planning when we START working, so there will be the resources we need WHEN we get to the "golden" age. And I didn't, so I'm hoping my sharing will start some others down the advanced preparation path that will make this easier for them!

Peace!

Below the sign of stupid

I hate to do this, we all do, but I must claim my place below the sign of "STUPID!"

You see, I was trying to be nice to my dearly beloved while she was knitting away and struggling with the effects of steriods. Making lunch, I was cutting a smoked chicken breast to go in stir-fry - at least our lower fat version. So where does stupid come in? I was holding the chicken with my hand, not a fork; those new knives our son and his wife gave us are very sharp, and I have a left thumb minus a tiny slice to prove it.

No, I didn't cut deeply, but when I trimmed off the flap I'd sliced, I have a cute little red spot at about 10 o'clock if you hold your thumb up and look at the nail as a clock face. It was annoying, both for the loss of feeling with a band-aid on and for that flashing sign in my mind - STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

But at least I know the knives are still sharp - and that's a plus, right?

Trust me, I was a lot more careful when I cubed a partially frozen block of smoked ground venison - there's that sign again! - holding it with my hand again. This time I kept the knife well away from the hand, and both dishes were quite good, thank you very much! But I can't say I really put myself in the meal, because it wasn't that bad.

So, to all you would be chefs who read this, avoid the sign! Keep those sharp knives out of the hands of people standing under the sign! And I'll try to learn my lesson as well. Justin, though you have some years before this is a worry, learn from your grandpa and DON'T use knives like I did! I'll carry the scars for both of us, my grandson! (Yes, I'm grinning as I write, and, yes, Dad, I hear you telling me to be careful around knives!)

Peace!

Ecumenism

Ecumenism. A word that conjures different images for different people. For me, it is the church acting out the unity we profess in following our Savior. This comes up today because I will be going to an Episcopal Church to preach as several churches in our town do a pulpit exchange.

Sadly, some have decided their faith expression is exclusive - rather than following Jesus' lead of opening the realm to all who would come. I listened yesterday to the tale of a church in a city in the Northwest of Iowa that sent an email to all the other churches requesting there be no further communication or contact with that church, because if you weren't one of them, you were hell-fodder! Imagine Jesus saying such a thing to the Samaritans, to the Romans, to lepers, women, tax-collecting betrayers of their own people. Well, given the stories we have, maybe we cannot, given his inclusion of these self-same people among those who called him Master and wondered at his love and power.

Ecumenism is the call of the church to find that one voice Jesus asks us to speak with. Some efforts have been undertaken through the expression of full communion - denominations that agree to recognize the membership, ordination and beliefs of each other as sisters and brothers in this common faith, through Churches United in Christ, through the increasing number of multi-denominational congregations as small churches combine to accomplish effective ministry in small community settings, and in places where cooperative ministry brings a variety of congregations from different denominations together under a supervising pastor working with lay licensed leaders in each setting to provide the opportunity to continue to minister when the cares of the world seem to great.

I think all of these provide a moment for the Savior to smile at those who have heard the call to be one in that amazing love and life-giving power.

Peace!

If friendship is an obligation

My wife offered me a quote I very much like in response to trying to help a member of the church understand that I consider it part of my role to be there for persons having major surgery - or even minor surgery - if it is their desire. The quote ran, "If friendship is an obligation, then I'm obligated." I think that is true through and through. When we become friends with someone, opening our lives and sharing at many levels, there is an obligation that becomes part of that relationship - being there! It matters not that the matter is trivial, from someone's point of view, or that it is uncomfortable, or that it is socially unacceptable. The obligation is there, and perhaps the test of friendship is to see if that "friend" is there in your time of need.

I've also heard the disturbing thought shared that pastors should never become friends with their congregants. I find that disturbing because I don't know how we are to truly minister to the needs of peoples lives if we do not become friends. It seems to me to be like saying Jesus wasn't friends with those who followed him. He actually tells them I call you friends. I think pastors are to walk that same walk - calling people friends, sharing the difficulties of life as a disciple and supporting them even when they walk away or break trust.

Speaking of friends, I have long had the best of best friends in the lovely lady that agreed to take my name and share my life over 35 years ago! She tweaks me to get grins. She braces me when I get off kilter, and through it all, I know that she is there for me! That's true friendship - and one I wouldn't trade from all the money, power and fame in the world!

So, I would wish for all of you a friend who can teach you the truth of that little quote!

Peace!

Grandson Rejuvenation

I've discovered a new method of repriming the pump, filling the tank, releasing the tensions - my grandson! Put that little guy in my arms asleep and it is amazing how much you can feel the tensions relaxing, how much his smile will brighten the vision of the future, how much his cooing and giggles will cheer you!

Now I do have other stress relievers - like a coffee trip with my son! Or listening to an audio book with my beloved wife! Or gaming with my daughter! Or participating in wider church activities because of the interchange of ideas with people just as concerned with finding new ways to make the unchanging grace of God fresh for the people of this time and place.

But without doubt, that little vulnerable bundle of clearly shared emotions is about the best rejuvenator I can think of! His trusting gaze reminds me that I have been given a responsibility to provide care where and when I can - that the greatest need is to be loving even when he might challenge my understanding of what is best for him. And I need to offer that same love to all my family and those I'm called to serve.

His little smile, or that surprised look when he burps, remind me that part of my responsibility is also to help train him to understand that need for love, for personal responsibility and for giving to others as God gives to us.

I'm glad I got to see, hold, and enjoy him. But even more, I'm looking forward the next time!!

Peace!

The Unchanging Ever-changing God

I needed time to come to the realization, and had to have help from an unlikely source to finally understand that God's unchanging character is rooted in ever-changing to be fresh to each new situation in the same loving yet demanding manner. While working for the Internal Revenue Service, I was told the only thing constant about the IRS was change. As I ponder this, it struck me that God is the same always because God is always fresh and new, present at Creation, but just as present today. Brooding over the chaos from which our sphere of existence is said to have come from, and brooding over the chaos I make of my own life. Loving all the things created and pronouncing them good, then returning after the resurrection of Jesus to tell Peter, "Don't you call anything I've made unclean!" And now loving all around me except the ways we all willfully fly in the face of God's grace and love.

The earth is composed of the same materials it has been since coming into being, yet is is most decidely different today than from the 1930s, from the Middle Ages, from the time of the Patriarchs, from the time of dinosaurs and before. We can accept that, at least most of us can, but we cannot bring ourselves to understand that God also changes to be fresh for us and for our children.

Many traditions hold strongly to Paul's statement we are to work out our own salvation in fear and trembling - even telling the pastor that this is OUR faith - but we are not in the least tentative about telling someone else - young or old - how THEY should believe. God doesn't do that, Jesus didn't do that, so where do we get an understanding that allows us to do so? Perhaps from the desire to make sure our particular corner of the world always stays comfortable, non-threatening, safe and secure forever. Only it doesn't, does it? It changes on us from one minute to the next!!

I hope sharing some of the struggle I went through on this issue will help others also consider that the unchanging God is yet ever-fresh and new! Perhaps that will help us to start being more tolerant of others who are different than we are, more accepting of God's brilliant array of life and thought, and thus more blessed as we live our own path to God's new realm.

May it be so! Peace!

Easter?

Once again, I find that with this holy day behind me, I'm worn out, drained, and looking forward to some time off. I pondered this today, and I think that for my wife and me this is an emotionally draining season because of experiences we have had and because we are emotive people who deal well with meditation and visualization. For us, it is easy to slip into the emotional roller coaster of the followers of the Way as they followed their Master and Teacher on what they understood to be the last trip into Jerusalem. In a way, trying to help the church see the need for change, for another step in the ages old process of trying to remain fresh for our own day, is like that last trip of Jesus.

Why? Well, he went knowing the dangers of standing in opposition to the settled leadership. Those of us challenging the church to see that twentieth century church isn't addressing twenty-first century people in an engaging manner, also face the opposition of those who cling to what I heard in Seminary - the 7 last words of the church - "We never did it that way before!" I still recall the father of a high school friend who told me, upon seeing Good News for Modern Man, that if the King James was good enough for Peter and Paul it was, by God, good enough for us! His emotion was clear, his resolve even went to suggesting that our church should buy as many copies and possible and burn them - because they said Mary was pregnant, not that she was with child - which means she was pregnant!

Then again, consider that Jesus relied on God's powerful presence and grace to accept the one who learned, worked and lived in the inner circle - but planned to show his enemies where he would be when no crowds were around. If the leaders of the church trying to make it relevant into this new century do not rely on that same presence and grace, it is so very easy to slip into bitterness and disillusionment. Better still to understand that if you don't feel called, don't enter this business! Trust God, focus on those who do appreciate your ministry, but don't avoid those who irritate you.

Another reason is that beyond all the stuff we put up with, there is the promise that God is the one who will give us our final grade! It is God who calls us, God who gives the gifts and talents we use, and God who sent Jesus to set the example and teach the right way to live. Now all we need to do is to truly understand that we ARE to FOLLOW Jesus on that radically new life that welcomes ALL who come seeking God, we ARE to focus on the new understandings that come to us, because we are constantly learning new things that help us understand life better.

Finally, Jesus went into that last week without giving the disciples black and white answers. We live in grey areas. As easy as black and white, right and wrong thinking is, it simply doesn't match the manner of Jesus teaching or ministry. He refused to play the games of the settled leadership, turning their crazy traditions back into their laps each time they tried to catch him. He saw welcoming all who came as the manner of ministering that God called him - and us - to do! So we need to learn that God's world is based on God's unchanging love, Jesus unlimited grace, and the recognition that we are all God's children - to push someone away for human reasons is to push the Master away in one of what he called the least of these my brothers and sisters.

So Easter is draining! But it is exhilarating as well, because of the promise, and because I so enjoy the looks of wonder on children's faces as we share the stories, and sometimes actually admit to them we don't have answers to all their questions. I invite you to join the roller-coaster, and find the excitement of this spirit-driven lifestyle!

Peace!

Holy Week Thoughts

As Holy Week draws to a close, it is time to reflect on what this week means for us in the 21st Century, at least for me.

One of the things we have to be aware of and consider our own reactions about is the fuss that has come up in the media about the words of prophetic UCC pastor Jeremiah Wright. Jeremiah has spoken words that shock and cause affront - but they are words we as a society desperately need to hear! We need to confront our willingness to look away from our contributions to problems and tragedies - and societally we are patently more willing to ignore our own contributions than we are to consider that systemic change just might stop some of those problems and tragedies!

When I was in High School in the late 196os, a teacher who was a missionary's son, told us of the Ugly American image, and spoke passionately of the basis for the image - we expect everyone to kowtow to us because we are American. Yet they understand the need to tolerate differences, to tried to honor their hosts and to practice a hospitality closer to the biblical model more carefully than do we. When Americans travel, we expect to be able to speak our form of English around the world. When the world travels here, they expect to come with an interpreter or to be able to speak English. Much of the world is at least bilingual, and some parts of the world have people speaking four or five languages fluently. What are we missing in our education by allowing, indeed insisting, we do everything in ONE language, almost as though we think this is the divine language or something.

Another tragedy is that so much of what Jesus tried to bring about, to call his followers to continue working toward is no closer to reality today than when he faced the wrath of the establish religious community of his day. We are more comfortable accepting social custom than following our savior! We are more willing to by a comedian's rendition of the Golden Rule than to practice Jesus' standard - Do unto to others and cut out as fast as you can, rather than do to others what you want them to do to you.

Perhaps this year we can finally hear the true passion and full scope of Jesus' cry from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" A cry not only, we are told, addressing the feeling of being abandoned by God in the moment of taking the world's sin on his own shoulders, but, I think, expression his sense of abandonment by those who called him Master, Savior, Christ, friend! How many of our friends have left us in a time of need, or been abandoned by us when they most needed us - not to mention families that have forgotten what family really means!

Perhaps this year we will indeed experience what Jesus did for the disciples - Jesus breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit!" Perhaps this year it will happen! We will be filled with a hope and a willingness to take courageous steps to make the world so much better because that is what Jesus died to bring about - along with making us children of God! Perhaps -

Maybe this year we can drop stereotypes of characters in this story, really hear it all and come to clearer understandings of the real importance of the events we commemorate during this season of the year.

May it be so, Holy One! May it be so!

Peace!

Lessons in politics

Yesterday was quite the learning experience in how the political process often does and how it should work! My wife and I were both delegates to the county convention. It was a little confusing that the meeting opens, but can't get down to the real heart of the meeting for an hour - to make sure people are all there (who are coming).

Then there was the lesson that it helps to have a leader with a clear understanding of what and how to present. Ours was lost several times and had to be challenged on some misinformation based on the January caucuses.

Then, watching delegates wrangle, it became apparent not a few could have used lessons in listening to explanations - even elected officials! What should probably been an hour and a half meeting became three hours, and people were really starting to get testy and tired by the time it was adjourned.

One fellow observed that watching the county convention made it clear why the government has such a difficult time making decisions!

The walk home in the cool late winter air was nice afterward - my wife had to leave early to grab a bite to eat and get to her knitting group.

So from that I have a whole new perspective, going into Holy Week, on the political intrigue that contributed to the events commemorated the end of the week. The decision to seek the death of the troublesome Jesus was nothing arrived at over mere minutes, it took a lot of wrangling before enough votes were garnered - probably not a few followed back-room meetings with perhaps of little grease of coinage to help things along.

Yet through it all, Jesus maintains a focus on his understanding of God's call on his life, and on his trust that God would work all things out as they should. Difficult as that is, it is also the call placed on our own lives! May we find the faith and trust to walk it!!

Peace!

Startling News

I have followed the work of the Southern Poverty Law Center for years, and get mailings as well as emails from them. Today there was a daunting bit of news - in the last 7 years the number of hate groups operating within the United States of America has nearly doubled!! A 48% increase during a time when there is so much hate and violence abroad! Well, like events of the past decade have taught us, we are now officially part and parcel to the world scene!

Welcome to the new age! Unless, of course, you would rather your children and grandchildren didn't grow to know that type of world! In which case, it is time to start working as the Southern Poverty Law Center does - for tolerance and the recognition that we will not survive unless we conquer hate!

I am reminded that Jesus was willing to come and experience the results of hate, but refused to live out hate. Even when he was executed as a ciminal, he asked forgiveness for those who did it. Even when others slammed him for his outreach to those in need, he quietly went about doing more good. Even when his trusted companions and disciples abandoned him, denied him, he took special pains to bring them back into relationship. Even when those same friends simply couldn't fathom what he taught, what he wanted, what he said would happen, he worked to prepare them and kept them close so they could learn a better way to live.

Today we face off against each other with a rancor that is awful and terrifying - conservative against liberal, worker against management, debtors agaisnt creditors, Republicans against Democrats, you name it and you can find an "enemy" to hate, to villify, to attack and destroy. But is that the kind of world we truly want to live in?

Wouldn't a world of peace, tolerance and mutual benefit be better? Wouldn't it be nice that when someone needed help, we offered without having to be forced into it? Wouldn't it be better to live in a world where integrity wasn't simply a personal trait, but also common to government and corporate life as well? Wouldn't love be better than hate, living in harmony better than constantly looking over our collective shoulder for the next enemy seeking to do us in?

Think about it! What can we each personally do to dismantle hate groups, to build a more positive world for our descendants? Let's go, folks! It's time to take back our proud history of being a country big enough for all who would seek the bounty of this gracious land. If we do, we might find other countries following suit. If we honor our Islamic, Jewish, Hindi, Buddhist, Aboriginal, and other neighbors, we might find a better understand of our role as stewards of this earth and life.

Peace!

Winter Musings 2

So this winter has seen up and down temperatures, snow and ice, snow and ice, rain, snow and ice. The flu has hit epidemic proportions across that nation, and the CDC missed on their vaccine recipe. Feeling good about it? You should, because all of this affords an opportunity to show your care for others! You can shovel walks for an elderly or differently-abled neighbor. You can offer to shop for someone who shouldn't be out and about. You can feed the birds and squirrels - they will show you their appreciation by devouring mounds of food! You can get down to some serious reconnecting with the family at home. Winter used to be a time when many things slowed down and we spent more time inside with family and friends. It was recognized for what it is - God's statement that we need to rest like the fields do, to recharge and heal up from the rigors of planting, harvesting and all the work around the farm!

You say you've never been on a farm and think that excuses you? Not so, for even in the city, with all the stuff that races along at break-neck speed, YOU need down time. Studies have told us for a long time that we have become a people who don't know the meaning of slow down and take care of yourself! As a pastor, I've had to work with men, especially but not exclusively, who pushed and pushed and pushed - until they found themselves hospitalized or institutionalized and dibilatated because they wouldn't allow themselves to rest and recover. We've all watched athletes whose careers were ended because they wouldn't allow themselves to heal from injuries that shouldn't have been serious.

And we all know "bosses" who think we ought to drive ourselves into the ground to make the company, and them, look good and prosper - while they are out wining and dining for the good of the company. Well, they need a different kind of rest, and it's called get out on the floor or into the streets and actually work like you demand your underlings work -- then give them and yourselves the time needed to rest and rejuvenate, so the company really will prosper - and you might even find you have skills and gifts that will benefit others.

Winter is down time, and I think we need to recapture that idea. Churches need to promote things that will get people relaxing, rejuvenating, resting. Teachers need to find ways to teach students that winter is time for the slow down activities and fun that come along for children - remember sledding and having snow-ball fights? Bosses need to start going out on a limb for workers and giving them time to enjoy the wonderful fun this season can offer, or to simply spend some quality - QUALITY - time with their families. We all need to rest and recover.

So, take a few minutes today, and think about your memories of the sled trip down the side of that little creek-bed that ended against the hidden log and your yards long slide down the hill on your face, or the snowperson you built on the front lawn in the central valley of California, or sledding down the monuments in the cemetery, or ice fishing for the first time with friends wetting 6 lines in a hole 10" across chopped in top layer of ice with a hatchet --

Enjoy, folks, because soon enough spring will be here with all the hurried, harried activity of springtime's burgeoning new life!

Peace!

Released

So today I went to the hand specialist that performed the surgery on my right wrist in early January. He examined the hand briefly, asked how things were going, agreed with my wife's strong suggestion that the paraffin bath would help, and asked me to show my grip on his fingers. In the end, he announced all was progressing well, continue the massage on the scar tissue and the exercises to strengthen the wrist, and come back if there are future problems!

Such a feeling of freedom in that little comment! And he genuinely seemed pleased that things are progressing as they are - and that can sometimes be a rare gift from a doctor! They are so busy trying to care for patients that they sometimes forget how helpful a little sincere attention can be to the healing process. I still recall the doctor my beloved brought up short for his inattention to the patient - his preference was to focus on the chart and his knowledge - until she informed him he would listen to her or she was leaving. She then shared how his handling of her case came across, and I think it was a bit of a eye-opener for him. I hope he remembered it!

Sometimes in our lives, we need someone to "release" us from something that is hindering our ability to live life fully and with contentment. My beloved has done that for me repeatedly and I think I've grown from each experience of that. My faith has also provided release on more than one occasion from burdens I tried to carry even when they weren't mine to carry. It has been hard for me to learn that I'm not capable of being all things to all people. It has been difficult to let go of the social definition of success in my role as a pastor. It has been difficult accepting some of the limitations age has placed on me. We all know it's easier to shove our heads in the sand, ignore the unpleasant and escape into fantasy - after all, why else would "reality" shows be so popular?

But reality has a way of coming back to bite us in tender places when we try to ignore for too long! Witness the person who lives constantly filled with stress, angst and the demands of those who recognize an obsessive-compulsive - who has a heart attack and is forced to change or die! Witness the spouse who cannot turn loose of past pain or parents or children or outside interests until their spouse declares that the marriage is a sham and over! Witness the athlete who will not listen to those who say you're pushing too hard, until the career is suddenly over because of a injury that might have been avoided by better care taken for the body! Witness the pastor that pushes and pushes - and either loses family who never really see them, or life because they didn't eat right, didn't get exercise, didn't take care of their overtaxed biological systems. God promises to be with us, but not when we determine we better than God know our own limits!

Yes, I know I've been there! Early in my career, my comment to people was that I ran for about 2 years as fast as I could go and God would hit me with some sickness that caused me to slow down for a week or so and then I'd repeat the process. It took my beloved telling me I had a covenant I had said was based in love that had prior commitment to my "successful pastor" model and I would either honor it or lose it! My eyes started opening, but she has had to open them even after to other areas where I'm still captive to things I need freedom from and control over. I'm truly blessed that God brought this lovely lady into my life, and blessed that I'm learning how good it feels to be released from what I don't need to struggle with!

May you find release, may your eyes open to the ways you are over-controlled by things you need be controlled by at all, and may God give you someone who will walk with you to find that release!! Peace!

Winter Musings

With winter comes weather that sometimes forces us to stay in, or to adopt a much more cautious approach to moving about. When snow and ice start to make their appearance, I want to be safer in moving around. Many never seem to learn that a little less speed makes such travel a lot safer. We lived in the southern tier of New York for over a decade, and it never failed to amaze me that people who lived in the area their entire lives forgot from one year to the next how to drive on snow and ice.

Yet isn't that also true of the way we approach difficult times in our lives? We have a bad experience, and think we have learned our lesson. But another similiar occasion arises, and we may very well react as badly as we did the last time, as if we hadn't been through it before.

My wife recently sent me a post that spoke of our need to take responsibility for our choices, because we cannot control what happens around us. I reflected on that for a good bit, mulling it over in relation to my own life. I had to reluctantly agree that I needed to understand I couldn't control other people, but I can control my choices in responding to them. I choose not to respond as a victim, but to continue to do the best I can to guide them in the directions that will bring the success and growth they desire. That's the calling I have - to shepherd a people toward the kind of life I believe God would have them live. I can show them refreshment, shelter, and offer love - what each chooses to do with that offering is up to them. All I am required to do is continue to following the calling.

What a challenge! It isn't easy! It is far easier in today's culture to look for the culprit for our difficulties, but we need to recall the Pogo cartoon where that wonderfully articulate muskrat announced sagely, "We has met the enemy, and he is us!"

Peace!

Sunday in the Snow

We are currently under a blizzard warning here in the heartland, and I'm sitting in the office waiting for people to show up for Church School and Worship. The snow started flying after I got here, though the wind was blowing soundly as I drove down. The wonderful thing about Sunday is a chance to share with some people who have developed a hunger for digging into scripture, who are no longer afraid to consider something outside the scope of tradition. I'll begin the process of putting my Lenten Bible Study group back together starting in the morning, when I can start to resurrect the materials I was developing.

This time of year is always a bit depressing for me, though not as much as some years back, because it was right after Easter that my father died. It took several years for me to get beyond the connection, and now I remind myself of the promise of the Savior. But one of the things churches aren't always good about - let's just say people - is considering that someone else might still be having difficulty with an important death in their life - actual death, divorce, plant closing, etc. When we lived in small villages, we looked out for one another. We took food over, watched the kids, did a little extra hunting, made some decoration or clothing item. Now, we might - MIGHT - take something over, but are more likely to say, "They just need some time to get over it."

Perhaps part of the breakdown of our society is the lessening circle of those who reach out to the hurting ones around them. After all, how do you draw closer to someone you pull away from? How do we express concern when the first words out of our mouths are castigation for not fully disclosing what was happening?

I would like to suggest that we start making a personal intentional effort to be there for the hurting ones, with compassion, empathy, and resources - whatever our resources might be - so that they will KNOW someone is interested, cares, and is willing to help. When you see a neighbor who has had surgery, ask how they are doing, and what you can do to help. When you know someone's loved one has died, reach out through a phone call, a card, a doorstep visit just to say, "Gee, I'm so sorry this has happened, because I know it can be devastating. If there's a way I can help you - a cup of coffee and conversation, company on a visit somewhere - please let me know, because I want to help you if I can." And most importantly, make sure when you say that you really mean it - because it will show and be heard if you aren't.

I've been graced in life with some people who truly showed me that while we might not see eye to eye on everything - they at least are genuinely interested and concerned with what happens to me. May you discover such people in your own life!

Peace!

Love in the air

Ah, love is in the air! Today I took my beloved wife to the dentist, and as I dropped her off at home before returning to work, she reminded me that is our six month anniversary - No, not really 6 months, actually 34 years and 6 months! We do this with each other, and the sparkle always comes to our eyes when we do!

Then she chimed, "By the way!" And we gave simultaneous Valentine's Day greetings to one another. She's really something, my brown-eyed girl!

May the greatest love come to each of you! May your life's companion become your best bestest friend and your fire!!

Peace!

Computer Lessons

I don't know how it happened, because we supposedly have a firewall, and I had Norton 360 protection, but a major infestation caused my computer to require a complete wipe of the hard drive on Monday. Then I learned that simply plugging in all the stuff in and trying to run doesn't work! Imagine!

I went back and got further instruction, and now am slowly putting things to rights now, so I can function as I was when this beastie was new! Email is set up, and I have a printer I can use. So, now on to setting Word up for my work.

This is another time when something that seems so simple causes us to learn humility. I am humbled, and learning more lessons on patience and attention the lessons others try to teach this salty old dog!

Peace!

Thinking or Coasting

I recently shared with those I serve that I was blogging and invited them to consider what I said. One reader commented that my thoughts were thought-provoking, and mentioned that she noticed my inclusion of one I count friend who is differently abled - missing an arm and being a person of incredible creative genius and compassion. Still another simply challenged my understanding, noting that we need to understand that civic society corrupts God's intent for us.

I appreciated the first reader, and understand that she is one who truly strives to allow her faith to grow by the different elements that are offered through Sunday School, Bible Studies and Discussion groups. We don't always agree, and have even had a couple of sharp exchanges on points. We always come back to our ability to disagree and still see each other as friends and colleagues in the life of disciples of Jesus.

I grew with a strong, simple faith and it definitely needed to be challenged to grow. I recall the Senior in College who challenged my simplistic understanding of creation, and stopped me cold by suggesting that insistence on six 24 hours days of creation was limiting God's ability. What a breakthrough for me! Then there came college and seminary professors that furthered my awakening spiritual hunger.

Yet today we are part of a society that increasingly wants a simplistic faith full of black and white, right and wrong. If one doesn't agree with me, then they must be wrong. People seem more willing to see Jesus as a simple teacher/healer, than to understand he boldly, knowingly challenged the status quo in what would amount to martyrdom at the hands of the empire he challenged along with the religious empire of the Saducees, Pharisees and scribes. They refuse to see the vast panorama of his new teaching, the number of times he threw ice water in the face of the social cream of the crop in society.

I honor all who stand for their faith, but wish they would be willing to afford the same honor or respect to others who stand equally as strong, without looking down or judging that different understanding. I will defend their right to hold their beliefs, and pray that God will help them to begin to help them be more willing to defend others in their right to hold and express their faith.

May the Savior who took in Greeks, Romans, Samaritans, Zealots, fishers, men, women, scholars and laborers finally help us to walk with him, rather than dictate the steps of others. May we learn to honor and learn from all the faithful around us!! Peace!

Troubling Paradigm

There is a troubling paradigm developing in our country that sees spiritual statements as political and understands only certain political positions as acceptable in Christian settings. At a recent meeting comments supported by many studies about the manner of passing on one's religious point of view were challenged as being political statements. I have seen the same occurrence in society. Certain groups can throw their political aspirations into the religious context and that is acceptable, but if that other side does the same thing, woebetide the poor soul who is target for allowing such to happen!

Now, let's be clear, I don't think it is possible to separate one's faith from one's political persuasion - not really! - but I do think most of the major themes in our nation's current milieu are also major themes in Jesus' new vision of what the world could and should be. I believe that one cannot follow Jesus and avoid speaking of poverty and systems that abuse the poor, about hospitality and the treatment of "illegal aliens" - did they drop off of Mercury with a criminal record? - about personal integrity and the current state of our nation's leadership.

If, in the course of a sermon, I speak of the call of Jesus to reach out to and share our abundance with the poor, it is not a support of socialism, but an echoing of the call to be like Jesus in feeding the multitudes! If I speak against the discrimination leveled at a person based on race, religious background or sexual orientation, it isn't pie-in-the-sky, Pollyanna mush but a recognition that we are as apt to make arbitrary, hateful, emotionally charged distinctions that set people into disadvantaged, ostrachized settings as the people of Jesus' day when he met with drunks, prostitutes, social outcasts and hated enemies of the state!

It is time for us to STOP the artificial separation of our faith and our politics, as well as to desensitize ourselves from looking for reasons to tackle someone who voices a different opinion - after all, that only affords both parties a chance to discuss their differences and see if one or both might need to reconsider some of their positions -- heaven knows I've had to more than once! When the gospel is preached, it will pinch, squeeze and nail us for our imperfections, but that is not reason to see it as attack any more than our parents correcting the manner we tied our shoes was viewed as an attack.

May the Spirit of the Holy One abide in people of faith, and may people of faith live in that faith, not apart from its call! Peace!

Legacies

What legacy do we leave? Is it something we create? Is it something someone creates about us?

I'd like to suggest that we leave a component of our legacy by how we act, how we relate, and what we are, but in a very real sense our legacy is also impacted in an important way to the manner of those around us and how they interact with our efforts and lives. For example, Gandhi lived to exemplify non-violence, and the use of non-voilent civil disobedience to change resistant majorities or powers. We remember that legacy, but we also remember that those who didn't like his message resorted to the very violence he abhored to end his own life. Recently, Bhutto returned to Pakistan from exile. Watching the news stories of her efforts to affect the politics of her nation, to help her people, my wife commented, "It's almost as if she's courting martyrdom." She was, in the same sense that Jesus courted it on his final trip to Jerusalem.

How's that? Well, to be true to themselves and what they stood for, they each (Gandhi, Bhutto and Jesus) had to do what they did! Jesus had to preach, to heal, to love, to admonish and face the consequences - and anyone who doesn't think Jesus didn't know what lay ahead, is Pollyanna to the extreme - and the same holds true of Gandhi, Bhutto and Martin Luther King, Jr. - to be true to themselves and their chosen path, they had to go and do just what they did -- knowing the potential costs and accepting that if it must be, it must.

Can we do the same? Some of us do, some blindly believe that who they are and how they act has no bearing on life, that there are no costs associated and anyone who points out the costs, the risks and challenges them to greater maturity in their lives are simple rabblerousers and troublemakers. So be it! Jesus walked boldly to confront the powers that be, and paid for it, but also turned the world on its ear! I know I cannot walk as he did, because I'm not made of quite that stern material - at least I don't think I am - but I will walk as closely to him as I may, knowing many will never understand, never want to understand.

My legacy? A combination of one who tried to be what he said he was and one who drew forth irritation from those who refused to see beyond an elementary level of understanding. One who remained true to the message I felt I was given to share, and one who staunchly refused to back down to emotional outcries against change. My only prayer is that God will give me the strengthy, that Jesus will stand close beside me in the way, and that the Spirit will ever boost my flagging faith and zeal.

Peace, and travel well! You never know whose watching and might just follow!